Human

I grew up in a town where Mental Illness was the norm,

And what I was, was some odd form,

Of life that no one understood,

Those stomach pains I had last week,

Was that anxiety?

Yesterday my mom sat me down and asked me if I was depressed,

I don’t know should I be?

I’m a mid-life teen,

And from what I’ve seen,

Every confession,

Is a life of depression,

And me?

Is there something wrong,

Because society makes it seem,

Like everyone has broken story,

She gets anxiety when she looks in the mirror,

He says he got it after the breakup,

My six year old brother,

He says his anxiety is from the toes up,

But yet speak up,

Because now a days sane is an illness of the brain,

But my anxiety and yours are not two of the same,

The doctors blame it on a chemical imbalance,

But please speak up,

Spread the word that we all have an illness,

With a different name,

I sit at night and wonder,

What part of me is an imbalance,

What part isn’t sane,

My friends spend more time planning their funerals than their weddings,

Because at age fifteen,

We’d visited more caskets than altars,

We’d seen more tears than kisses,

And our hearts had been broken more times than we could try and fix it,

At fifteen,

I can remember thinking to myself,

“So this is life huh, well it kinda friggen sucks”

But it’s not just fifteen,

Its everywhere,

It’s pain,

But please, the pain you feel is nothing compared to the pain that you will leave,

I know it seems impossible for someone to hurt more than you do right at this moment,

But don’t test the possibility,

Because you won’t be here to try and fix it,

You won’t be here to wipe the tears,

To try and hug the pain away from your mother like she used to do for you,

I know that mental illness seems like a destination waiting for you to arrive,

I know it seems like a deep dark hole that seeps into the never ending abyss,

But not every person suffers from it,

And I think through this all,

This factor is something we seem to miss,

Because your stomach pains could just be nerves,

And maybe the break up made you sad,

BECAUSE THAT IS LIFE,

Life hurts,

Life will test your limits,

But challenge life,

You do not need to educate every single person on the street about depression,

Because today I’m not depressed,

TODAY I AM ACTUALLY TIRED.

Today I need to lay in bed, not because my mental illness said so but because I had a busy, crappy week, I’m grumpy and I want to sleep,

I don’t feel like talking to you today,

Not because my anxiety is acting up,

But because life got the best of me today,

But I’m going to kick it in the keester tomorrow let me tell ya,

My Mental Illness,

Is not an Illness,

I do not have a chemical imbalance in the brain,

But guess what, I am human and sometimes it feels the same.

 

 

 

 

 

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